A close friend recently shared this quote with us as an encouragement in our adoption process. The past month has definitely been the hardest part of the waiting. Have you ever heard someone say, "Once you stop wanting 'it' so badly, that's when 'it' will happen?" We've heard people say this about us wanting children, to single friends who want to be married, to people looking for the ideal job, and we are sure the "it" can be replaced by a number of things. Although said by well-meaning people, it is poor theology. God does not punish us for the desires He places in our hearts. We have never wanted a child more than this past month...we've shed many tears in our longing, had several "crying out to God" sessions, and wouldn't you know...we received a call from our agency!!! WE HAVE BEEN CHOSEN BY A BIRTH FAMILY!
We have jumped up and down, cried in gratitude, pinched ourselves, only to realize, yes this IS really happening...the call we have waited for! In the same breath, we rejoice with a guarded heart as the question floods our minds...WHAT IF THE BIRTH PARENTS CHANGE THEIR MINDS???
This is one of those differences that is unique to domestic adoption. This is COMPLETELY OUT OF OUR HANDS. The birth family can change their minds even up to 7 days after the baby is in our custody (NC law). WHAT IF???
What can you do to support and encourage us during this time? PRAY! Don't ask us too many questions, because there are A LOT of the details that we just DON'T KNOW.
We don't know if the birth parents will change their minds. We don't know the baby's gender. We don't know if they have someone else- a grandma, a parent, a sibling, waiting in the wings to raise this baby if they change their minds. We don't know a lot of things.
We cannot dwell on the unknowns, all we can do is rest in what we know IS true right now. For now, we KNOW this family has chosen us. We KNOW the baby is due June 25th (which is also our anniversary!!!). We KNOW the mom is multi-racial and the dad is caucasian. We KNOW the birth mom AND dad want to meet us before the baby is born. We KNOW God is SOVEREIGN and HE is bringing our children to us. We KNOW He is opening and closing doors according to His perfect will. We KNOW He is working this for our ultimate good and His glory. We KNOW God is bringing our children to us!
So our conclusion...WE don't know, but HE does. We rest in Him when the "what if...?" comes!
Specific ways to pray...
- baby (protection, development, and cool hair ;))
- birth parents to be united in heart, receive wise counsel, clarity, comfort, and to be drawn to Jesus
- meeting with the birth parents to go smoothly
- and however else you feel led